August 23rd 2012 -
My heart is heavy tonight. The conversation and conviction to spank or not is ripe. I may not be able to structure language to explain what I have studied in over 50 years as a Counselor and Shaman. I ask the children to forgive me for not having better skills to speak for the thousands of children who have shared their experience of spanking.
Firstly children, animals and women have been a commodity, chattel...mostly valued for their worth of working in the fields for hundreds of years. Therefore, spanking, hitting, beating was expected as they were not seen as whole beings. Well we are by some miracle finally in a society that agrees children, lovers, wives, husbands, pets, our Planet and life is a Gift. A deep and meaningful Gift. Where we work very hard our entire lives to live up to the mastery of having these Gifts.
Secondly spanking is a direct result of parents who think they own their children. That controlling priority causes ...
them to have fewer resources when faced with the behaviors of children.
Thirdly if the Bible really advocates beating your kid with a rod, then the Bible's rendition of Homosexuality is right too. Since I know both are crazy then let go of that. I was told by a Catholic Priest who studied the many changes in language over hundreds of years. He said that the Bible's verse of, 'To spare the rod is to spoil the child' should be taken in the context of how people spoke at the time the Bible was written. What it meant then was, 'To spare the love of Jesus is to spoil the child'.
4- If you can spank your child then the adults should start spanking each other for their inappropriate behavior. Do not take out your need to vent on only children. Challenge yourself, I beg you don't start spanking each other. Rather choose not to raise robots. Guide, educate, love, love, love, and yes discipline yourself and your children in ways that are productive.
5 - Spanking is the beginning of children learning to hit each other and other animals. Spanking is the beginning of bullying. Spanking is ranked high in children who do not succeed in school. Children who are taught by their creator that they can no longer trust who loves them and keeps them safe.
I plead with any and all who advocate spanking. Please, please know there are easier ways to guide your children as a guardian of their behaviors. Spanking is an adult who can do whatever they want to children. It is a way to dump your upset on another. It is a way to show who can scare you. It is a way to blow off anger. Spanking is a behavior like guns. We will make up any reason to keep using them.
I plead, beg, I will do almost anything to speak to each of you who hold such a magnificent responsibility as children DO NOT SPANK.
I am available to anyone who wants to know more skills to raise children to speak well, behaviors that are respectful, trusting, vibrant, seeking and humble.
Boise, Idaho 83703-3465